Strong Back, Soft Front

Dear Members of The Waldorf School of Santa Barbara Community,

A touchstone phrase insofar as how we adults at WSSB strive to interact with the students -- a phrase Carolyn Kaster often uses -- is "loving authority." Relatedly, Zen teacher Joan Halifax emphasizes a "Strong Back, Soft Front." What's implied in both these phrases is a dance, a dance of a stance, a combination of flexible tenderness and rooted strength.

We constantly make adjustments as we dance this dance (a most humbling dance!), knowing that leaning too far either way -- too far towards the "strong back" or too far towards the "soft front" -- is to err. Waldorf teacher David Sloan speaks to the latter (and common!) pitfall:

"A growing number of educators are recognizing the consequences of coddling. Parents who attempt to shield their children from hardships may be contributing to a legion of young people with two troubling characteristics:

1. an inflated self-image, i.e., an overblown sense of one's own importance, aided in no small measure by a technology that makes possible and promotes 'selfies' and Facebook pages where a young person can 'star' in his or her own narratives;

2. a low tolerance for disappointment and frustration. As a result, young people look for, and need, approval and validation, and will go to great lengths to avoid high-risk situations that might lead to the dreaded 'f' word --
failure."

An illustration of the former (and common!) pitfall, the pitfall of emphasizing overmuch being "the authority" is found here, in this heartbreaking, and ultimately redemptive, piece by the late great Brian Doyle:

https://www.catholiceducation.org/en/faith-and-character/faith-and-character/a-sin.html

With gratitude,

The WSSB Admin Team